The past month has been a whirlwind, and now that things are slowing down, I'm taking a hard look at how my real life and my technological life intersect.
No matter how "aware" I think I am of my device-use, the truth is, it's a vortex that's easy to fall into....have you ever checked your phone for a recipe, but seen that you have a new text message, so you read that, then you respond, then you see an email, then you decide you need to check Facebook to see if your friend answered the question you asked her there....and 20 minutes later your daughter is plucking at your sleeve asking you to play with her, you still haven't written down that recipe, and you've somehow landed on the Instagram page of someone you've never met and are scrolling through an entire lifetime of their photos?
Please tell me I'm not the only one.
Anyhow, I strongly feel that it's time to draw some firmer boundaries between the internet and me.
The first thing I did was decide to check for text messages once a day. This works for me because my children are still little (ie, they're not driving around, possibly needing me!). It also works for me because my husband does not use a cell phone, so we do not communicate via texting.
I haven't decided if it would be best to check first thing in the morning or last thing at night, though. I want to check them all at once and respond, then turn the phone off. I sent a warning email out to the few people I text the most, letting them know that I'll respond, but not immediately, to texts...and if they need me immediately, call the house!
The second thing I'm going to do is check email only once a day, at the same time I check texts. I'll file, respond, or delete all the emails I get at once, and then not check again until the next day. This seems more efficient than checking a million times a day when I see the little envelope icon on my phone......
The third thing I'm still sorting out is how to deal with all other internet use. I do have a Facebook account (no app on my phone, though). I do read a handful of blogs. I do "research" on the internet. I sometimes check the news. I scroll through Instagram. It's just hard to keep a handle on all of it.
A couple of years ago our modem died and the week I spent without internet access at home was one of the best weeks of my adult life! I asked my husband if we could just not replace it, but he didn't think that was practical (and he was right, I'm sure). But I loved having to leave the house to use the internet--it made my online time much more focused and streamlined. So I am considering assigning 2-3 days a week for going through a list of things to read, check, and research, and sticking to a time limit (30 minutes?) each time. (I guess that's when I'd write my blog posts, too.)
Is it possible, in this day and age, to step back from technology like this?
I'm going to give it my best effort. I long for a less distracted frame of mind. The internet has many benefits, but it's so very distracting, and I fear it is robbing me of too much of my time.
I'll let you know how it goes!
You're not the only one thinking about this. I have a hard time with it too. One thing that I've been trying is to have a set time I can just roam the Internet freely and uselessly if I want...evenings after the kids are in bed and I've done a few things (shower, yoga, and scripture study). Then I have free time to do whatever, but I also have a thousand things I'd like to do with that time, like reading real books, etc. And then I do use my phone throughout the day, but I've developed the habit of telling my kids why. So I'll say, "I'm going to look up a recipe for dinner" or "I'm going to reply to this text from your auntie". It just makes me feel better and hopefully teaching them that technology serves a purpose but with intentional use. I mean, our mothers did all those things too...paid bills, talked on the phone, researched businesses in the phone book, read an article in a magazine...it's just that us kids could see what they were doing, and it didn't look like they were staring into a screen all the time, which is how it looks when we now do those things. I'm still trying to figure out the balance, and my kids are little, but I'd really like to set a good example before we enter the years of their own technology use.
ReplyDeleteIt is possible, Polly, and I sure hope you can find something that works for you, because social media, etc., can really rob us of time. I always thought I was the only one, but I see that I am not. What really changed my way of looking at things was a video on YouTube. It was Cal Newport giving a Tedx talk about not being on Facebook. His concept of "deep work" really took me back to my college days (mid-90's) and how much quiet, undistracted time I spent in the library and how good my work was as a result of the ability to spend time deep in thought and work.
ReplyDeleteAs a housewife now, my life is much louder and I no longer need time to study in quiet with no distractions, but I do need to do my work well (house, children, husband), and I do need to focus and not have any more distraction than the people in the house with me. And I don't think they are a distraction, it is just that when I am busy with housework, I'm often interrupted. You know what mean!
I have set strict limits on all social media and emails, and I must say that my work has improved. For the first time in a long time, I don't feel like I'm going in a million different directions and not accomplishing much other than "putting out fires". I respond to emails once a day in the morning, but I do check 3-4 times a day to see if my son at school has contacted me. I know if it were a real emergency he'd call. If I see in the email that someone has sent me a message via Messenger, I'll go on Facebook and check/respond to that, but then I am outta there!!! Regarding FB: I told myself in the real life, would I really be communicating with people so much? No. So I check in on my closest family once a week, my more distant family once a month, and friends from college, etc., maybe every three months or so, if that. And I post about me and my family maybe once a month, if that.
This is what works for me now, Polly, and I hope you find something to help you be less distracted. Of all the gazillions of blogs out there, yours is one of three that I make the time for. Probably because I've been a reader for a while now, and your content is so good and I always find it pertinent to my life.
Best wishes!!!!
-Jenny
Thank you, Jenny! I agree--looking back on my college days makes me remember fondly what life was like before the buzzing distraction of Internet. I gave up FB completely a few years ago, but then returned to it because it was the only way to keep up with my sister (!!). Now it is the primary tool for communicating with our small homeschool co-op. I've decided to check FB on Wednesdays simply to keep updated w/ the homeschool group (we meet Thursdays) and again on Fridays to post homework and quickly check family members' posts.
DeleteSo far, so good. I LOVE responding to texts and emails once a day. That alone makes me feel much less scattered! I'll have to do an updated post in a few weeks. And in the meantime, I'll find that Tedx talk to listen to while I fold a bit of laundry.
Thank you for the sweet comment about my blog, too.
Well, I'm rooting for you, Polly! I've stepped back considerably, and I love it. Praying that you will discern what are the best parameters for *you* in this!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Susan! I love the name of your blog. A week or two without internet a couple of years ago whetted my appetite for more. It feels good to set these boundaries. (I sure am getting a lot of sewing and reading done all of the sudden!! :))
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