Healing Homeschool Burnout

Over the past couple of months I haven't written much here, but when I have written, I've mentioned how strangely difficult things have been for me.  One of the issues I faced was that for the first time in my life, I felt burned-out from homeschooling. It was only the beginning of the schoolyear and I did not want to homeschool!! The very idea of it exhausted me and the thought of all of the activities I had to manage panicked me. 

I had to dive deeply into the root of it and think about what is going on, and what the solution is.  

As October comes to a close, I'm grateful to say that I think the storm has passed.  

This year I didn't take much of a summer break (my first mistake).  We also added more activities than ever, but they are things we genuinely value that I cannot teach--piano, violin, ballet, robotics, Spanish, and French, plus our weekly co-op.  (If you're wondering about the Spanish and French, it's because Finn has studied French for a few years and wants to add Spanish--so we did.  This is completely self-motivated.)

Once August arrived and I was surveying what our weekly schedule would look like, I got totally overwhelmed.  And we were also chasing down some physical symptoms so I was having medical tests done, which was distracting.  I simply wanted to organize closets and mulch flower beds, not teach math.  I remember sitting down with my husband a few weeks ago and saying I just don't know what's wrong with me--I cannot get my head in the game this year!!

He laughed. He loves sports analogies. 

I got some advice, prayed, got more advice, prayed more, journaled, and tried to slowly get to the root of my issues.  I don't want to homeschool solely out of a sense of duty, lacking joy in the journey.  I'm an enthusiastic, joyful person....but I wasn't feeling that at all.  So I took it seriously that I needed to heal this burnout.

One morning I was reminded of this verse from Hebrews:

"...let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us..." -Hebrews 12:1

And I thought of how burdened I had allowed myself to be with expectations and distractions. I felt it was the nudge of the Holy Spirit to get me to consider what weights and sins were getting in the way of my patience and my "race."  Once I began to analyze this, everything started to fall into place. 

Here are the things that helped me:

1. I wrote already about simplifying, praying, and leaning on God. When I try to do everything myself, without spending time in thoughtful reading and thinking/prayer each day, my life unravels. So that's the first thing. 2 Corinthians 12:9. 

2. I went back to outsourcing a few things.  I use grocery pick-up at Kroger and Sam's Club, and organize those pick-ups after a day of errands. I am (admittedly) using some convenience foods for lunch sometimes--I have used an organic boxed macaroni and cheese, and a frozen organic pizza.  We don't do this daily, but sometimes it is helpful to have a convenience food on hand! And I've already mentioned that I have some help with housework.  What a blessing. I know I will not have housework help forever, and I still have plenty of housework to do on my own, but for now, I'm grateful for it.  

3. I went back to my practice of keeping a reasonable stock of freezer meals ready to to be baked or tossed in the crockpot.  This is so, so helpful for me on busy days.  We are frugal and health-conscious, and doing this saves money and ensures that we have quick, healthy foods to eat.

4. I decided to pick my top 3 priorities every day and focus on doing those things.  And I tried to let everything else go.  If other things fit into my day, then great! But if not, that's okay: I try to get those 3 things done, and that's it.  This will look different for everyone, but for me my daily top 3 priorities are: homeschooling/children's educational activities, Bible reading/journaling/praying/writing (these I lump together because they take different forms on different days, but it's the same idea: quiet time!), and exercise.  Most days I try to add in violin practice also. 

5.  I gave myself permission to relax. A hot bath at the end of the day.  A few minutes on the front porch with a book.  Puttering in my sewing room.  Cuddling with a child. It's all so simple, but when I get overwhelmed, I want to do more and not less!  But I need to relax. 

6. I began limiting social media consumption that showed pictures of people's gorgeously-decorated homes.  Sometimes this is fun.  Sometimes it is demoralizing. :)  

7.  I decided that even if I didn't have time to deeply organize various area of my house--I love to organize--I would create tidy piles and make peace with them, knowing I will get to them eventually. 

8. This goes along with #4, but I began to be sure to be alone inside my head every day. An extrovert might need to talk on the phone with someone else, but for me, I need to read, think, and process.  Having the mental space to do this for a while each day is essential to me. 

9. I began reading books that aren't telling me how to be better at anything. I am a lover of non-fiction, and I always want to improve.  So a lot of my reading is focused on improvement: homemaking, homeschooling, health, faith, finances, etc.  But I also need to read books for the sheer pleasure of reading!  Fiction and poetry are the answers for me. I love to relax with a chapter of fiction and a few poems at the end of the day. It's the pause that refreshes!

10.  I created a checklist for each of my children's schoolwork and we are following it each day.  As it turns out, Finn and I both have personalities which do not like open-ended situations.  He wants a list.  He wants to know what to do.  He likes the feeling of getting things done. And so do I! At 12, Finn would rather spend hours doing schoolwork than having a "free day."  (Is this strange? I am not sure! He is my oldest, so I never know....) We implement it with flexibility, and I approach it with my usual minimalist mindset, but this has helped us both tremendously.  Having a written guide for the week's work is comforting for me right now! It makes me feel MUCH less overwhelmed than having a more open-ended approach to schooling. 

*      *      * 

We aren't going to quit our activities; we like and value them each too much. I have had seasons in life when we have needed to put activities on pause, but I had the strong sense that this was not one of those seasons.  For me, healing burnout has required focusing on my top priorities, keeping meals and routines simple, relaxing a little bit each day, and creating  more structure (although not more subjects!) in our homeschool day.

After a couple of difficult months, I finally feel like I've healed.  My enthusiasm and delight are back, and I don't feel overwhelmed and exhausted.  I think I'm back to running the race with patience--not with speed, or my own strength, or impatience--but with grace and a steady pace.