100 Years

 My great aunt turned 100 in mid-February, following in the footsteps of her mother (my great-grandmother, otherwise known as "Nanny") and her own aunt (otherwise known as Pauline, who lived to be--I believe--105), and another aunt, who lived to be very close to 100, I believe. Those are long-lasting genes. 

Her birthday party was in her home city, three hours away.  I took a solo road trip down for the day to celebrate at her favorite Italian restaurant, braving the traffic in that city of roughly a million people. I used the express lane once I got to the city and still sat in traffic for an hour (car accident!), but even though I left at 5pm--very scary!--I flew out of town with no problems at all. I got to see my Alabama second and third cousins--I hadn't seen them in years  (Mobile is far away, y'all!) and meet the next generation of little cousins--adorable! My aunt Mary is just amazing for being 100 years old--and she seemed to enjoy her party very much. It is astonishing to think of all the changes she has seen occur during her lifetime. Driving back home into the mountains I listened to my Dad's favorite country/bluegrass album, one of those collections that I heard over and over and over again when I was a child (I recommend!).  It was a really, really sweet day.

Because there were too many bouquets leftover, her children sent me home with this beautiful arrangement, which we've been enjoying ever since. I have to toss it out today, but it has made me realize I miss having fresh flowers around!  I used to have them all the time, but as life has gotten busier, that's one thing that has slipped through the cracks. No more!

Happy birthday, great-aunt Mary.  

Clean and White

 Last year around the time my dad was diagnosed with cancer, our contractor began the huge project of demolishing our children's bathroom (which also doubles as the bathroom our guests use).  It desperately, desperately needed renovating!

It was the only room on the main level without a window. I remember when my mom built the house, she'd hoped to put a window in, but with a standard fiberglass shower insert, they couldn't make it work.  In a house this bright and open, the bathroom always felt dark and closed!

A few years ago the exhaust fan began working only spottily.  With so little ventilation in such a highly-used room, I had to adopt the practice of scrubbing the shower free of the mildew that would pepper the ceiling.

The exposed-bulb-light-strip was original to the house, but my husband and I had replaced the original mirror, countertop (pink formica to this dappled granite) sometime when Finn was a toddler. I had painted the cabinet cream, and the walls a sage green.  

Somewhere along the line, a Person Who Shall Remain Unnamed cracked the cabinet door. The sink cabinet was low, which was great when my children were itsy bitsy, but Finn is already taller than I am at 15, and I suspect he's got more growth to accomplish.  It was almost comical to see anyone brush their teeth or wash their face at this sink, crouched so far over.....it just didn't work for our family of older children!

We started to joke that the bathroom was demolishing itself: one day the toilet lid just fell right off.  And the linoleum on the floor (also original 1993) had started to peel up and back. The bathroom never "felt" clean, even when I scrubbed it to within an inch of its life, and that annoyed me. Ew.

Over one of our 20th anniversary dinners (we had several!) in 2019, my husband casually suggested we redo the bathroom. I almost fell out of my chair.  My husband is THE most frugal person.  At the time, we had several other large house projects happening, so we waited until the dust settled on those, and got our contractor (who is also our across-the-lane neighbor, a Mennonite, and one of the most wonderful humans you'll ever meet--not to mention a top-notch builder who does a beautiful job with everything) to take a look and give us a quote. I got cold feet after receiving the quote, but my husband encouraged me to just go forward with it.  So we did.

Paul started demolition the week my Daddy was diagnosed with lung cancer last year. He gutted the entire room down to the studs.  It was epic. After that week, I came home, asked my mother-in-law to stay with my children for a day, and literally picked out every single thing for the new bathroom in one fell swoop, an unprecedented approach for me. But I knew I'd have to spend a lot of time traveling and in Charleston, and I wanted to have it all picked and off my plate!  Fortunately, I had a pretty strong vision for what I liked.  That helped. Also, my husband had no opinion at all, on anything, so I was given carte blanche on the whole project. I appreciate that about my husband. :)

Hexagonal marble tiles, a window, beveled subway tile: a beauty to behold. I'm really happy with this bathroom and so grateful my husband insisted we go ahead with this project.

The window has just been fabulous! I wanted an awning-style so that there's no visual interruption to the view out the back of the property (it's all our family farmland, and the window is very high, so no privacy worries).  We have more-than-adequate ventilation, and bright light!  I don't really like normal subway tile, but I love the beveled tile because it adds dimensionality, and it's really not much more expensive than regular subway tile.  We used white grout on the walls because I don't like contrast between white tiles.

The countertop is quartz. I discovered that I don't like granite, but I do like quartz.  It's simple and very easy to care for, and though it's sort of a luxury finish, on a cabinet this size it was not too expensive at all. 

I had the cabinetmaker build something very simple and a lot taller than what we had before, and kept my fingers crossed that I would like the color that I chose (ran to the paint store, picked out Benjamin Moore's "Smoke," and gave it to the cabinetmaker--he used that color for his lacquering). I was so relieved when it came in and looked exactly like I wanted it to look.  I don't usually gamble so recklessly with paint colors.  This is probably my favorite color in the world, a soft blue-grey. The little cabinet pulls are pretty little trinkets from Anthropologie.

Went for a taller toilet, too.  

I appreciate the nod to bathing that the painting implies.  I bought that painting several years ago with a whole group of others at the thrift store, and it definitely belongs right here.  (Here's the story on that amazing find!) It needed to be framed, but I didn't feel like committing to a frame, either mentally or monetarily, so I used a fun trick: black duct tape to cover the raw edges and staples and paint smudges. Viola, looks great. 

Now this tiny little space is so bright and pretty. And when I clean it, it feels clean!

Major thanks to my husband for the encouragement and to Paul for his beautiful workmanship. 

Sneak Peek of the Bathroom Renovation

All the details tomorrow! I'm so thankful that this project is done and that it turned out so well. 

And that I just happened to have a painting of a bathing goose (I think it's a goose; it's a goose, right?!) sitting around, waiting for its perfect spot!

2022 Reader's Journal

I finally sat down to try to compile my 2022 Reader's Journal.  It was definitely not a year with a lot of reading; it was a year of travel and of grieving.  But there were a few books I just adored.  My recommendations have asterisks in the list below, and my favorites are highlighted here.

The Order of the Phoenix (JK Rowling)

This year I finished reading all of the Harry Potter books, and the Order of the Phoenix was my favorite. This is the midpoint in the story, and it's the place where we really begin (I think) to see the maturation of the main characters.  The stakes of the war between good and evil are raised in this book.  My favorite books other than this one were The Prisoner of Azkaban and The Deathly Hallows, but I like The Order of the Phoenix the best.  However, the later books--say, The Goblet of Fire on to the end--are better suited for teenagers than children.  I resisted reading these books for years (I'd tried to read the first one ages ago, but couldn't get into it, and it's definitely the weakest of the books), but now I appreciate the intricate world and characters JK Rowling developed and the ultimate message of the story, which has to do with the lifesaving power of  (surprise!) sacrificial love. 

All the Light We Cannot See (Anthony Doerr)

I am placing this book here even though it disappointed me bitterly, because I really did enjoy the bulk of it.  I loved the weaving together of the stories of the German boy and French girl, and Anthony Doerr is a talented storyteller.  But I cannot forgive him for the last 50 pages.  Oh Anthony! Why?!

Even so, it's a very, very good book.  (But really. WHY??)

Vein of Iron (Ellen Glasgow)

I had read Vein of Iron years ago, but wanted to re-read the story of Ada Fincastle.  I loved this book--an insight into the world of a Virginian during the years preceding the Great Depression.  It's a well-executed book, and I think Ellen Glasgow is a sort of "hidden gem" writer. I was introduced to her years ago by my college roommate/best friend, who is a Glasgow scholar.  I particularly appreciated Ada's father in the story during this reading; he seemed more nuanced than I'd found him the first time I read the book.  

Final Gifts (Maggie Callanan & Patricia Kelley)

I recommend this to anyone who is dealing or may deal with a dying person--and spoiler alert!--that means everyone.  There is so much meaning in a person's final days, which can be both brutal and strangely lovely.  Too many people are keen and quick to disregard the things dying people say or do.  This book confirmed what I have thought for a long time: that there's meaning and a sort of universality among these experiences.  Highly recommended. 

How Green was My Valley (Richard Llewellyn)

Oh, how I loved this book! I listened to most of it on Audible, read by Ralph Cosham (he's great).  Then I finished it in paper--my husband gave me a first edition copy for my birthday, three days after my Daddy died.  It was such a treat to really relish the last chapters by reading it on paper.  I found the characters compelling and realistic, the story poignant and beautiful, and some of the scenes absolutely riveting and--in one case--heartbreaking. I read it right around the time my father died.  I cried.  It was a wonderful book--my favorite of the year. My father would have loved this book, too.  

1. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (JK Rowling)*

2. Are Women Human? (Dorothy Sayers)*

3. All the Light We Cannot See (Anthony Doerr)* (loved this book until about 50 pages from the end, and then was furious and dissatisfied!)

4. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (JK Rowling)

5. The War of Art (Steven Pressfield) )(this was a re-read--I basically read it every year, because I'm a fan.)

6. How to be a High School Superstar (Cal Newport)(Cal sometimes drives me crazy, but he makes good points, and the primary point of this book is that colleges aren't that interested in "well-rounded" students anymore--they have thousands of applications from well-rounded, top-tier students every year.  Instead, the author encourages students to be interesting. I can get on board with that, because it seems like a more real and organic way to live--pursuing one's interests--than checking all the boxes of athlete, volunteer, scholar, et cetera. And--here's my addition--what makes someone interesting?  Being interested in the world! That's an admissions philosophy I can embrace and appreciate.) 

7. Piranesi (Susanna Clarke)(fascinating, weird, and strangely predictable, but ultimately too far outside the realm of believability, and yes, I realize that Harry Potter books aren't exactly within the realm of believability, but they do have their own logic and rationality, even if they don't comply with the workings of our natural world.  The world of Piranesi was just tooooo far gone for me. However, it was thought-provoking.)

8. The Shallows (Nicholas Carr)*(a good book that takes a hard look at what the Internet can do to our brains; this book contained one of the most thought-provoking quotes of the year for me, which I'll share sometime. I read it by the pool and kept having to stop and make notes in my journal about it.)

9.  Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (JK Rowling) 

10. A Tale of Two Cities (Charles Dickens)*

11. Vein of Iron (Ellen Glasgow)*

12. Blue Ruin (Grace Livingston Hill)

13. The Jane Austen Diet (Brian Kozlowski)  

14. Final Gifts (Maggie Callanan and Patrician Kelley)*

15. How Green Was My Valley (Richard Llewelyn)*

16. A New Name (Grace Livingston Hill) 

17. Grace Livingston Hill (Robert Munce)(an interesting glimpse into Grace's life!)

I also listened to five Harry Potter books on CD: The Sorcerer's Stone, The Chamber of Secrets, the Prisoner of Azkaban, The Goblet of Fire, and The Order of the Phoenix.

As always, there was also the Bible, smatterings of The Book of Common Prayer, my favorite devotional (Streams in the Desert), and Uniformity with God's Will, a personal favorite. I also read much of The Screwtape Letters, which I basically read every summer by the pool. It's an annual tradition for me now!

I also suspect, as I always do, that I missed a few books along the way, but I did my best to remember and list the books I've read here!

I did not read many books to my children last year.  Annie and I are working our way through Heidi, and the kids and I are reading Carry On, Mr Bowditch, and as a family we're reading The Hobbit, but it has been very, very hit-or-miss.  Some seasons are like that.  I hope that 2023 will be less like that. 

Here is a link to last year's list, and previous years' lists as well.

Happy new year, and happy reading!

Paradise

 

Well, I have finally seen, with my own eyes, crystal clear waters and sugary white sand beaches. 

I took my sister on a quick trip last week.  Our father loved the lower latitudes, but neither of us had ever been much south of, say, Orlando, Florida.  We went a bit farther this time.....

Do you wonder what heaven is like? I think it's entirely incomprehensible, something that our feeble brains can't understand, some dimension that is more beautiful and full of goodness than anything we could imagine on earth.  

I have no idea if heaven looks like this, but this is truly beautiful. I believe that all of the best things on earth--our most loving relationships, the most striking natural landscapes--are pale shadows of What's To Come.  So heaven probably isn't like this; it's probably much, much better.

The clarity of the water! It astonished me.  It's real! I kept thinking.  It's really real!

I think maybe that's what people say when they reach heaven.  The rumors are true! they probably think.  It wasn't photoshopped. It wasn't made up. It's real, and it's more beautiful in person than I could have ever expected. 

That's what I think about when I think about this beach, where I could hardly talk all day, I was just so astonished that it was, in fact, really real. 

What is my father seeing now?  I have no idea.  But I think he sees things clearly, as they truly are, at long last. 

For now we see through a glass darkly, and one day we will see face to face. (1 Corinthians 13:12)

Yes and amen.