My Daily Dozen: The Habit of Eating Well

I didn't mean to go an entire week without posting, but it happened!  We were busy last week, because my husband is still home from work and recovering (the doctor ordered him home for four weeks), but he has enough energy to do fun things--like spend all day at co-op with us on Thursday, or have a big Friday fun-day (art museum + Indian food + big hike up a mountain!). My sister visited for four nights as well.  And we had ballet, piano, a Session meeting, violin lesson.......etc.

Continuing my posts on the habits that undergird my life right now, I decided to post this week on eating well.  Everyone eats and sleeps, so we'll get these basics out of the way first.  

Everyone eats, but everyone doesn't eat well.  And the habit that I value and want to continue to develop is the habit of eating well. 

Eating is often not respected in our American culture, and we have an international reputation!  When we were in Finland, my husband and I had dinner with a Swiss lady who was staying at the same bed and breakfast where we were, on the edge of the country near Russia.  My husband and I commented on how lovely dinner was (it was very basic Finnish comfort food--think root vegetables, a soothing warm pot pie, a pickled beet salad) and the Swiss woman said "yes, I guess you don't eat this stuff at home, do you? It's all McDonald's."  

We processed this for a moment, then laughed with surprise.  My husband assured her that he'd grown up eating foods very similar to the meal we were enjoying: vegetables from the garden, home-cooked meals.  And of course, we cooked together at home!  She was surprised. (This woman also told us she never wanted to visit the United States because "there's nothing there to see."  An image of the majestic Grand Canyon immediately popped into my head.  We tried to tell her what a beautiful country it is, and how diverse....but she was resolute!)

Our dinner partner that night clearly stereotyped Americans, but the unfortunate truth about stereotypes is that they exist for a reason. In general, a stereotype exists because it reflects some reality about life.  And this is true: Americans sure do eat junk, and a lot of it.

So, what is eating well?  I think we can each consider that question and formulate our own answer, but for me it consists of three basic ideas:

1. Eating fresh, natural, and unprocessed foods

I don't think that I need to mount a strong defense for this practice!  We all know that the best foods for us are fresh and unprocessed or minimally-processed.  I'm passionate on this point because I have seen the damage that a constant diet of fast food, canned foods, and packaged foods can do to the human body.  Besides that, to be honest, those foods often taste terrible.  

I think that if a person is used to eating highly-processed foods, those foods taste good.  But you can change your taste buds. I'm not kidding when I say that typical quick packaged snacks do not appeal to me at all, but I distinctly remember the summer I spent eating Little Debbie's Nutty Bars every day as a teenager.  (My mother was horrified when she discovered this habit.) I wouldn't touch a Nutty Bar with a ten-foot pole now.  I love my big salad for lunch each day, I love my Greek yogurt, my oatmeal, my roasted vegetables.  I'm not trying to manufacture enthusiasm for these things: they are genuinely delicious.  I don't eat packaged junk foods or drink soda and I am not missing out. Every single thing I eat every single day is something that I love.

(Actually I don't eat sugar, any sugar, even dark chocolate (!) at all right now, but that's a whole different blog post.)

2. Eating with ceremony and delight

The second element of eating well is eating with ceremony and delight. I think that if you have any background of disordered eating, whether it's an eating disorder or over-eating, this element is essential to embrace in order to create a healthy relationship with food.

 What this means for me is, first and foremost, always eating at a table. I have always been one to eat each meal at the table, but when I had babies and toddlers I got into the bad habit of eating while standing up in the kitchen!  I wouldn't eat a full meal that way, but I'd get quite hungry before a meal and then nibble on food while I cooked or stand and graze to ease my hunger...which of course spoiled my appetite for dinner.

So now I have a hard-and-fast rule to only eat at a table and never eat standing up.  Never.

Another aspect of eating with ceremony is using real plates and silverware.  This isn't something I've consciously decided, because I was never in the habit of using paper plates and plastic silverware.  I understand that there are seasons in life which may necessitate that, but it just feels better to use real plates and silverware.  A few years ago I got rid of my "everyday" Pfaltzgraff china and my stainless steel flatware.  Now my "everyday" china is jadeite from the 1950s, which I collected in the years before we had children. I used to only use the jadeite at Christmas and special holidays.  Now I consider every day special enough for it!  I pulled out my husband's grandmother's silver-plated flatware, which I had never even taken out of the box, and now we use that every day, too. We also use real napkins 100% of the time, although I know that is not feasible for everyone.

I think another element of eating with ceremony is presenting the food beautifully.  I'm the first to admit that I have slung hash onto my families' plates before without a second thought, especially when I'm in a hurry! But I've tried to take a lesson from my husband, who excels at presentation.  Pretty, well-presented food slows us down, allows us to admire the meal before we eat it, and makes us feel that even a little dish of yogurt is celebratory--and I actually do have a crystal dish exclusively reserved for my yogurt breakfast!

Finally, I think it's important to enjoy every bite of food.  It's difficult to genuinely enjoy the food if we're staring at a screen--a TV, a phone, a laptop--so screens and meals don't mix for me.  I know other people may not be bothered by that combination, but I have noticed that if I'm scrolling through my phone while tucking into my lunch, I just don't seem to enjoy my lunch that much.  And honestly, if I'm taking the time to sit down, use real plates, silverware, and napkins, and present my food attractively....I should dignify the situation by eating mindfully and enjoying each and every bite with gratitude. 

3. Eating less, or eating delicately, or dining 

Finally, eating well for me actually means eating less than I used to eat.  I find that I enjoy food more when I'm eating a little less--I get hungrier faster, and hunger makes me enjoy a meal so much more. (I still say the best meal of my life was the hospital breakfast I had after Finn was born.  At that point I'd endured 23 hours of labor--8 of which were in transition, had slept only 2 hours over the course of 48 hours, and had not eaten in about 36 hours. Needless to say, I was ravenous. I would have considered that meal dreary and unappetizing under normal circumstances, but it was manna from heaven to me that morning!)

I sometimes like to trick myself into thinking I'm not actually eating less, I'm just eating delicately. Something about that is appealing to me: it makes me think of enjoying an elegant tea in a formal tearoom, or indulging in the cuisine at a top-notch restaurant. I've only had those experiences a few times, but the portions and our manners were delicate indeed, yet we didn't leave feeling hungry!  Eating less food but eating it mindfully can leave me more satisfied than eating half a bag of Oreo cookies while watching a movie (ask me how I know this...ugh). I think this approach is actually how I lost weight last year, and perhaps I'll lose more this year!  We'll see. One thing is for sure: eating delicately is an infinitely more appealing way to control my weight than counting calories.  I like to think of it as something even more elevated than eating; it's dining! 

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Another thing to mention about this habit of eating well is that it takes much more time than I ever thought it would when I was a younger person envisioning my future life.  It takes time to make three meals each day and clean the kitchen each time, it takes time to grocery shop and plan a menu.  Although healthy eating can be simple and easy, it still takes some planning and effort. And if you add cooking for a family into this mix, it really does take a lot of time!  I bump up against this reality constantly, and I have to make peace with the fact that I spend a fair amount of time in my kitchen. So I try to enjoy cooking, and I try to set my kitchen up in a way that I enjoy, using items I like.

The final thing I want to say is this: be mindful of your season of life.  I am currently in a pretty easy season: my children are old enough to be helpful and semi-independent and our schedule is not particularly hectic. But when I had babies/toddlers/preschoolers it was different!  Give yourself grace to live within the season of life you're in right now, don't wish it away, and do the best you can....but never impose perfection on yourself.  (You know  I don't believe in perfectionism!) There are seasons of life when it's a challenge for a mother to find time to shower and make the bed; if that's your season, then streamline kitchen work and figure out what "eating well" means for you right now.  It's more important to eat with peace and thanksgiving than it is to hyper-fixate on presentation or "fancy" meals.  Keep it simple and tuned to your current life circumstances.

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I haven't planned the order in which I'm going to post these twelve habits, and I picked eating because I thought it would be easy to write.  A few days ago I planned our menu for the upcoming week, and it struck me as I wrote this that it might be fun to post my meals on Instagram.  So each evening this week before bed I'll create one post with all of that day's meals on it.  I haven't planned meals with this in mind--so you'll get a real slice of what my eating is like during this season of my life, realistically, every day.  (Although this morning I did have a much fancier-than-usual breakfast, inspired by a photo I saw in a cookbook last week!) The only thing missing is the daily dose of dark chocolate, alas!

My Instagram page is here, if you'd like to follow along.

Happy dining!