I love to purge my things, but this year, in this season, I've purged more than usual. After Christmas I went through a huge purge of my children's items and some household items....and an enormous quantity of fabric (most of it passed-along or thrifted or leftover from a project I'd already completed). Once my husband had surgery and was home in recovery I did not pursue decluttering, because I was busy caring for him and then spending time with him!
He went back to work on Tuesday and we're starting to settle into a more normal routine again, so I'm picking up my decluttering again.
I don't need more stuff.
I keep thinking about how Stuff, and Stuff Management, can seriously interfere with our relationships. Excess stuff can cause stress and chaos, which then disrupts the peace of family life. Who wants that? Who wants a less peaceful family in favor of stuff?
Purging is one of those things at which I have excelled in my adult life. I have been called in to help other people purge, because I love it so much. I'm a purging queen by nature! (I'm by no means a true minimalist, however.)
But now I'm asking myself: can I do more? Am I holding onto too much? What else can go? Does a family of four really need to have four and a half sets of china? (The jury is still out on that one, y'all. I love my china.) Should I keep that cute, quirky book that I enjoyed a few years ago and haven't picked up since? Should I really keep all of my mother's old scarves, simply for sentimental reasons, when I don't wear them?
I'm trying to work out the right rubric for determining what to keep. I love Marie Kondo's "does it spark joy?" question, but even more to my own point, I think, it something more centered around relationships. But I haven't quite nailed down what that standard is for me right now.
What I do know is this: I aim to have a peaceful, *much* more streamlined home life, and I'm willing to work hard to achieve that, although I'm still not sure where to draw the line....especially with books.
And china!
There is always the library in regard to books. Perhaps keep books that were given with love and that you enjoyed and would read again. Regarding china, don't be too hasty to give away anything that your daughter or future daughter-in-law might treasure when they have their own homes. My own fine china came from my deceased grandmother-in-law, and I have a small service that came from my great grandmother. Family heirloom type things that I can't find a use for in my home or that I don't particularly like go into a box in the basement. I'm keeping them for when my boys are older and they or my future daughter's-in-law might have an interest.
ReplyDeleteSentimental things are the hardest for me. If those were my mother's scarves, I'd keep one or two that I might wear, one or two that really "looked" like my mother, and then I'd give the rest away knowing that someone somewhere would find them and use them. Could your daughter use them?
Good luck! Finding the balance is hard. Basically do what gives you peace.
--Jenny
I also have a hard time with books and dishes. I have three sets of dishes, none of them fancy, but we love them all. And the books—I got rid of a pretty good percentage a few years ago and now I occasionally regret it as my kids get older and read more. It's harder to purge when you have a whole family to think of, and not just yourself!
ReplyDeleteP.S. The section on books in Marie Kondo's book almost made me cry. But other than that, she has some good ideas.
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