The Sick Kit

We were in Charleston for the New Year when Mr. Polly came down with a cold, which then hit Finn when we got home, and then Annie last week, and finally landed on me this week.  I am recovering, but not without a few icky nights of congestion. 

It struck me that after 17.5 years of motherhood, I should have grasped this idea sooner: I need a sick kit! I have had a sick book for years, which has been invaluable. But I need a little arsenal of things that will make life easier when sickness hits us. Here's what my sick kit should include:

*Zicam

*Zinc pills

*Emergen-C. I love drinking the powdered vitamin C stuff with hot water, kind of like a weird tea, when I don't feel well. 

*Puffs Plus Lotion tissues. We never keep tissues on hand; I'm going to do it now, in the sick kit.

*The humidifier. As soon as someone starts feeling sick, I'll run the humidifier in their bedroom at night and in the room where they spend most of their time during the day.  The humidifier helped me so much last night--I can't believe I didn't think to use it sooner! 

*The little steam oil diffuser that I like to use with a few drops of essential oil.

*Sore throat lozenges--I like Ricola. 

*Lemons for hot lemon water, which often cures what ails me. 

*The NetiPot!!! And distilled water.

*My stepmom would remind me to add Vicks VapoRub.  She is a devotee of it!

And a few pre-existing household items would round out this kit:

*A hot water bottle and a heating pad--so comforting when you're pitiful in bed.

*A simmer pot in the kitchen: the crockpot filled with water plus sliced oranges, whole cloves, cinnamon, fresh rosemary. I made one this morning and although I don't think it's *doing* anything, it sure does help me feel happier. 

*Pot of water on the stove, simmering, to add humidity to our very dry indoor air.  It was 22% last night, but I've gotten it up to 37% with the simmer pot and humidifier.  

*Squishy socks, a cozy blanket, comfortable clothes, and a hot shower anytime to break up the congestion. 

*Good books or a knitting project, or--if you're really in bad shape--an easy movie!

What else would you add to a Sick Kit?  

A New Year, Again!

 Happy New Year!

I hadn't really realized that my last post was way back in April. It's funny how life's seasons shift.  I remember when I posted a lot--and now it seems like time is constantly pressing down on me.  I have to make room in my life for leisure and creativity--two things I have sorely neglected for a number of years now. My 40s have been an intense season of caregiving--the husband with cancer, the father with cancer, and two teenagers (in some ways, the caregiving of teens is more exhausting than the caregiving of little ones). 

*Annie turned 14--FOURTEEN!!--last Thursday.  My little baby with the wispy curls, a teenager!  She still looks very young, more like 11-12, so it's especially hard to believe that she's 14 already.  She started real, brick-and-mortar school in August, and she absolutely loves it.  She loves coming home with anecdotes, she loves attending different classes, she loves her friends. I thought 8th grade would be one of the hardest years to start school, but she is thriving.  She makes straight As easily (she has told me on multiple occasions that homeschooling is harder, and after seeing some of what she's doing, I have to say I agree....)  The school is small and we have known many teachers and administrators for years. It's a blessing for her at this time in her life. 

*As a result of choosing to start school, Annie also chose to not continue with the ballet company this year, which has changed the landscape of our lives significantly.  She still takes ballet classes 7 hours a week, but that feels like nothing compared to our lives in recent years. I am not sure what she will choose to do for next year, but I'm enjoying the breathing room right now.  Her involvement, the driving, and my own volunteerism for the ballet company were....a lot. 

*The fact that she wasn't in the Nutcracker and isn't in the company has been an unexpected blessing in another way--my mother-in-law had a health crisis in October (just off the plane, literally, from South Africa!) which has required us to pivot and try to provide support to her and my father-in-law. She spent 5 weeks in the hospital (3 of them in ICU) near the airport, which is about 3-4 hours away. She is a walking miracle, that's all I have to say.  I am so thankful that she is still with us.  She's such a sweetheart!

*Last year we did get to see the eclipse.  That probably deserves its own post.  It was amazing. 

*Also last year, we took a big Southern road trip to visit my family in South Carolina and Georgia, where we enjoyed a Lowcountry shrimp boil with first, second, and some third (!) cousins. We went to the beach with my husband's family--a low-key and relaxing week. It seems like the world is off taking all sorts of exotic vacations and having these big adventures (Annie has friends who went to Spain, Japan, Nepal....), but we go see family!  Family means a lot to me, so I am happy to spend our vacation opportunities making memories with grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins. 

*The iconic, 100+ year old barn that represents our farm and has housed so many memories burned to the ground in July. It was a devastating day (and has made me feel so much empathy for California right now--we lost *one* barn, which is nothing compared to the losses that are occurring out west).  It was such a blessing that the fire was identified quickly, that it didn't spread to other nearby structures, to the house, or to the fuel (!) that was stored close to it.  It's also a blessing that no one was harmed--including the sheep, chickens, goals, or the livestock guardian dog. But oh, what a heartache it was for a few weeks. 

*I currently teach US Government to 7 homeschooled high schoolers in my basement once a week, and it is SO much fun!  It's really one of my favorite things about life right now!  They are curious, polite, engaged, and funny; I wish they could come over more than once a week!  It started as a way to get Finn's US Government credit while also getting some time with friends, and we are achieving those things, but I simply didn't realize how much I would LOVE doing it.  The lesson planning is excruciatingly time-consuming, writing all the tests and quizzes, coming up with projects, etc....all of this I'm doing from scratch, but it's so fun.  I guess that's where a lot of my creativity is going these days. :) 

*I still work part-time, and I still really like my company.  In March I will have worked for them for two years, which doesn't seem possible--the time has flown. I usually work 5-10 hours a week still, and that's what I plan to stick to until Finn is in college.  Once he's in college, if Annie is in *regular school* and not homeschooled for high school, I may increase my hours to 10-20. (If Annie decides to homeschool for high school, I'll work 5-10.)  Once Annie is in college, I will consider working somewhere full time only if we truly need the extra income to pay for college.  Otherwise, I think part-time works very, very well for our family. 

*Speaking of college, Finn is a junior in high school and we're looking at colleges.  We're also running Net Price Calculators, which has been a sobering exercise.  Everything seemed so straightforward when I applied to school: I picked a college I liked, I applied early decision, it was in-state, and so I went there. That same college costs over four times as much now!  Finn isn't really sure what he wants, but it's looking like maybe a small liberal arts college with a strong French/study abroad program. (Anyone know of a fantastic French program??)  That doesn't really narrow things down, frankly!

*Speaking of Finn, he's the tallest person in our house now!  He's very tall, has long blonde hair, and was recently mistaken for an adult--probably because he almost is an adult.  He's also vegan, which is a tad inconvenient sometimes, and speaks beautiful French and Spanish, and is the Assistant Director for a play right now!  So Finn is busy. 

*I just came down with a mild cold, but otherwise I am healthy and well, and grateful for that.  Mr. Polly is also doing great.  We celebrated our 25th anniversary last October by taking Finn and Annie to a Very Fancy Restaurant in the city.  Annie was fascinated by the bananas foster situation. 

*I've been thinking recently about the disjointed feelings of life with 2 teenagers-the way we go in different directions. Life looks so different than it did 10 years ago, and for good reason! But there are elements that I miss; for instance, I didn't do anything in my flowerbeds this past summer.  And we don't read aloud anymore. Life feels very functional, and I am operating it with efficiency, but I really lack something--I can't put my finger on what.  Leisure? Soul-supporting activities? Lightheartedness?  Something like that!  I'm going to "study on it" this winter to see what I can do to help with that. Even so, I am thankful for this quiet, filled-up little life of mine. 

A Late Winter Wrap-Up: Anna Karenina, Mozart, Brick and Mortar, and Eclipses!

Parenting two busy teenagers, one of whom is a classical ballet dancer in a pre-professional company, is a serious business these days! My husband recently told someone that I "run the [insert our last name] empire," and he's not wrong.  Between paying bills, keeping house, cleaning, chauffeuring, cooking, grocerying, supervising homeschool, laundry, some part-time work, and countless volunteer hours for the ballet...well, I am not bored. 

Here are a few tidbits from our busy, busy lives lately (I hope to see some calm after my daughter's spring ballet performance):

*I am in the last hour of listening to Anna Karenina (read with great success by Maggie Gyllenhaal) and I cannot wait to finish it so that I can then turn around and read everything about it--criticism, interpretations, etc.  WOW! I have so much to say about Anna, Levin, Kitty.....whew.  I can't wait to start reading about what I've been reading (surely this is one of the marks of a bibliophile?). 

*We went to our first opera last month! We saw The Marriage of Figaro and we were all heavily invested in the narrative. It was so fun!

*Our spring break trip to Charleston was cancelled due to a flat tire that suddenly appeared on my car the morning we were set to leave (with a fully-loaded vehicle, coffee and muffins in hand....).  So we stayed home and had a quiet week, and as it turned out, it was very, very good.

*Big changes are underway in schooling for my sweet Annie.  Next year she's trying a brick and mortar school--I can hardly wrap my mind around this.  But she is so excited to at least try it out.  (She knows that her fallback will always be homeschooling, and having a safety net is nice!)  She's got a few friends there already, we know several teachers/administrators, it's a small school....so it has potential.  If you know Annie, you'll probably agree that she is a powerhouse of genuine kindness and solid determination packaged in one small, long-haired, graceful human.  I am happy for her.  Finn and I won't know what to do with ourselves, but I am happy for her!

*We have reservations to head to the midwest for the eclipse--if the weather cooperates.  We've had these plans in place for nearly 7 years, since we saw the last eclipse. It was incredible.  No words. I pray we can see it again. It's especially tricky because it's theatre week for Annie--eek!

*March 27th marked the 23rd year since my mother's death, and I realized that it also marked that I've now been without my mother for half my life. I was 23 when she died, and I'm 46 now.  She was a lovely, lovely human, and I am thankful I had 23 years with her. 

*The peonies are coming up, the crabapple tree is in bloom, the tulips have popped, the bleeding hearts are rising, the lilac is purpling, and I pruned the roses last week.

Life is full and fascinating and I'm thankful for it all. 

 

Every Week: A Bouquet

 How about this?  How about posting a photo of my dining table bouquet each week?  That'll encourage me to keep the practice of fresh flowers going!

I have two sweet young ladies who help me around the house twice a month.  I hired them, with a twinge of guilt, in January of 2017, because my homeschooling had gotten more intense (with addiing a second child to the mix) and because I was starting to teach two classes at our co-op.  By the end of 2017, I felt no guilt at all: my husband had been diagnosed with cancer, and frankly, I needed all the help I could get.  They've now been coming to my house every other week for seven years. I am endlessly grateful for them. Anyhow, sometime last year they said to me, "we love coming here because it always smells so good" (which made me laugh--it's because they come on one of my "crockpot dinner" days!) "and because we love all your fresh flowers."  Well, that stopped me in my tracks, because I realized I'd not had fresh flowers consistently for quite some time.  But I loved that they associated my home with flower bouquets--that's what I want to hear, because I do really, really love flowers.

There's nothing blooming here yet, but yesterday when I ran to Kroger to pick up antibiotics for Finn (pray for Finn! he just cannot kick this whatever-it-is), I bought a $5 bouquet of baby's breath and a 40-cent markdown bouquet of fern fronds.  In a needs-to-be-polished silver pitcher, my inexpensive bouquet is a good start. 

(The only drawback here is that baby's breath smells terrible, so I do have to move it away from the table when it's time to have a meal!  But that's the price we pay, at least this week, for beauty.)

A bouquet a week.  Stay tuned for more!

Routines to Help Return to Peace

After two years of feeling "off," I am finally starting to re-orient myself to, well, myself! Have you ever gone through times when you're just not living like yourself?  

My father was diagnosed with cancer in January 2022. For the next year (he died in September 2022), I was constantly on the road between Charleston and home, juggling my children's schedules and schooling, and just trying to spend as much time with him as I could.  I knew it was unlikely that he would live even a year past diagnosis, so I worked hard to see him as much as possible.  

In 2023, I was  still trying to regain my equilibrium, but I felt "off."  I gained about ten pounds.  I wasn't reading, I wasn't putting fresh flowers on the table, and I wasn't sleeping on my normal schedule. I wasn't enjoying food, and I wasn't getting enough fresh air. I was finding myself easily distracted and unfocused. 

It was time for a change!

I knew there were things I could not change.  My days are very full, and I spend an inordinate amount of time chauffeuring my children to their various activities.  Although I could force my children to drop their activities, they find a great deal of value and purpose in them, so I'm not changing that. I have decided that the problem is not my children's busy schedules. The problem is me.

Here's what I decided to change:

*I'm sitting down to eat in a mindful way again. I've done that for years, but had gotten out of the habit with our hectic lives in 2022.  This makes a huge difference in the way I feel, in my health, and in my peace!

*I'm moving slowly!  Instead of procrastinating and never rushing, I'm committed to never rushing, which means I cannot procrastinate. ;) 

*Every day I get dressed in a way that makes me happy.  For a while I had slipped into the "leggings and sweatshirt" scenario on my at-home days.  Frankly, if I'm wearing a leggings and sweatshirt, I'm just not that productive.  I'm sure lots of people are productive in those clothes, but I need to be wearing real clothes, my hair fixed, my earrings in, my apron on!

*I'm going to commit to flowers around the house again. I miss this practice--I did it for years!  I realized I fell out of practice (for winter) when I moved to grocery pickup, because I was no longer looking at the flowers at the grocery store each week.  (In the summer? I have no excuse. My yard is full of flowers!) I haven't started this yet, but I shall. 

*I'm embracing routines again.  I get up at the same time every day, do the same routine. At night I read in bed.  I assign my weekly/recurring tasks to a time and do them then. I'm trying to get the children to bed earlier, and up earlier as well.  This generates a lot of peace for me!

These changes are simple and, for the most part, free.  And they've been very freeing as well. I feel like I'm becoming myself again--the person who enjoys good meals, fresh flowers, reading books, long walks, knitting, and happy, undistracted routines. 

Shifting Seasons

 We had an eventful January, but it was still a lot calmer than December.  I was so  thankful to get a "recovery month" with no one performing in anything!

We got a bunch of snow that cancelled the local schools all week.  School went on as usual at home, but we loved the view, and the children did some serious sledding--before the biting cold totally set in. I love how bright the valley looks when cloaked in snow. 

Annie broke her foot (by chasing Mr. Bingley on the front porch, no less) and is in a special boot, with taped toes, for now.  This is not easy for a ballet dancer!  She'll be alright. 

Seasons fascinate me; I'm so glad to live in a place where there are four solid, recognizable seasons.  But the seasons of life are the ones that interest me the most.  Things shift and change--sometimes when we're not even looking.  It's like you're buried in folding laundry and suddenly you look up, the leaves are falling, and your son is almost six feet tall. It's just like that. 

For years I've had intuition (I suspect it's the nudge of the Holy Spirit) related to shifts. When I turned 40 I felt a major shift and had no idea what it would entail.  A few months later, my husband was diagnosed with cancer.  Oh, so THAT is what this will entail, I thought. I've felt it at other points in life, too. 

I feel that shift again now.  I'm not sure what is brewing or what direction the shift will take. I just feel like I'm on a ship heading in one general direction, and that somewhere below me the current has changed, and I'm still headed in the general direction I set out to go, but I feel like we're going to get there by a different route.  What is it?  I approach this with genuine curiosity.  I don't fear it, because I trust the captain. :)  I wonder!

The Goodness of God

 Today at church during our quiet personal prayer time, the worship leader sang "The Goodness of God."  I've heard this song plenty of times, but somehow today was different. Today I just shut my eyes and listened, and saw my life through the lens of these words.  

 I love you, Lord/for your mercy never fails me/All my days, I've been held in Your hands/From the moment that I wake up/Until I lay my head/Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

I thought about waking up in the morning, either in the dark or as the sun starts to break through (I face east in my bed, so the rising sun hits me!), and how thankful I am to be alive, and then at night, I'm so tired that often my only prayer is thank you, thank you. 

I love Your voice/You have led me through the fire/In the darkest night/You are close like no other/I've known You as a father, I've known You as a friend/And I have lived in the goodness of God

So many images rushed through my mind.  The long night that I endured as I miscarried our third child--the brutal emotional pain of that experience.  The deep, difficult nights at the end of my father's life, when I was the only one awake in the house, sitting vigil at his side to be sure he wouldn't try to get up and fall down. I never slept. When I needed to wash sheets or change linens (often) I woke my sister up, but otherwise the house was quiet. I knew I wasn't alone. God was watching with me. 

Cause your goodness is running after, it's running after me...with my life laid down/I'm surrendered now/I give you everything/Cause your goodness is running after me.....

For years I ran in the opposite direction of God, and His goodness showed up constantly, in unexpected places, pursuing me. And the surrender that has had to occur when I've reached the end of my own abilities...I could see flashes of my husband's cancer, my father's cancer, moments with my children when I wasn't sure what to do, difficulties in my extended family...the surrender to God that is so hard, but such a relief. 

And all my life You have been faithful/And all my life You have been so, so good/With every breath that I am able/Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

Life can be hard. I don't understand most of what happens, or why, but I try to turn, over and over again, in the direction of trust and surrender to the goodness of God.