A New Year, Again!

 Happy New Year!

I hadn't really realized that my last post was way back in April. It's funny how life's seasons shift.  I remember when I posted a lot--and now it seems like time is constantly pressing down on me.  I have to make room in my life for leisure and creativity--two things I have sorely neglected for a number of years now. My 40s have been an intense season of caregiving--the husband with cancer, the father with cancer, and two teenagers (in some ways, the caregiving of teens is more exhausting than the caregiving of little ones). 

*Annie turned 14--FOURTEEN!!--last Thursday.  My little baby with the wispy curls, a teenager!  She still looks very young, more like 11-12, so it's especially hard to believe that she's 14 already.  She started real, brick-and-mortar school in August, and she absolutely loves it.  She loves coming home with anecdotes, she loves attending different classes, she loves her friends. I thought 8th grade would be one of the hardest years to start school, but she is thriving.  She makes straight As easily (she has told me on multiple occasions that homeschooling is harder, and after seeing some of what she's doing, I have to say I agree....)  The school is small and we have known many teachers and administrators for years. It's a blessing for her at this time in her life. 

*As a result of choosing to start school, Annie also chose to not continue with the ballet company this year, which has changed the landscape of our lives significantly.  She still takes ballet classes 7 hours a week, but that feels like nothing compared to our lives in recent years. I am not sure what she will choose to do for next year, but I'm enjoying the breathing room right now.  Her involvement, the driving, and my own volunteerism for the ballet company were....a lot. 

*The fact that she wasn't in the Nutcracker and isn't in the company has been an unexpected blessing in another way--my mother-in-law had a health crisis in October (just off the plane, literally, from South Africa!) which has required us to pivot and try to provide support to her and my father-in-law. She spent 5 weeks in the hospital (3 of them in ICU) near the airport, which is about 3-4 hours away. She is a walking miracle, that's all I have to say.  I am so thankful that she is still with us.  She's such a sweetheart!

*Last year we did get to see the eclipse.  That probably deserves its own post.  It was amazing. 

*Also last year, we took a big Southern road trip to visit my family in South Carolina and Georgia, where we enjoyed a Lowcountry shrimp boil with first, second, and some third (!) cousins. We went to the beach with my husband's family--a low-key and relaxing week. It seems like the world is off taking all sorts of exotic vacations and having these big adventures (Annie has friends who went to Spain, Japan, Nepal....), but we go see family!  Family means a lot to me, so I am happy to spend our vacation opportunities making memories with grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins. 

*The iconic, 100+ year old barn that represents our farm and has housed so many memories burned to the ground in July. It was a devastating day (and has made me feel so much empathy for California right now--we lost *one* barn, which is nothing compared to the losses that are occurring out west).  It was such a blessing that the fire was identified quickly, that it didn't spread to other nearby structures, to the house, or to the fuel (!) that was stored close to it.  It's also a blessing that no one was harmed--including the sheep, chickens, goals, or the livestock guardian dog. But oh, what a heartache it was for a few weeks. 

*I currently teach US Government to 7 homeschooled high schoolers in my basement once a week, and it is SO much fun!  It's really one of my favorite things about life right now!  They are curious, polite, engaged, and funny; I wish they could come over more than once a week!  It started as a way to get Finn's US Government credit while also getting some time with friends, and we are achieving those things, but I simply didn't realize how much I would LOVE doing it.  The lesson planning is excruciatingly time-consuming, writing all the tests and quizzes, coming up with projects, etc....all of this I'm doing from scratch, but it's so fun.  I guess that's where a lot of my creativity is going these days. :) 

*I still work part-time, and I still really like my company.  In March I will have worked for them for two years, which doesn't seem possible--the time has flown. I usually work 5-10 hours a week still, and that's what I plan to stick to until Finn is in college.  Once he's in college, if Annie is in *regular school* and not homeschooled for high school, I may increase my hours to 10-20. (If Annie decides to homeschool for high school, I'll work 5-10.)  Once Annie is in college, I will consider working somewhere full time only if we truly need the extra income to pay for college.  Otherwise, I think part-time works very, very well for our family. 

*Speaking of college, Finn is a junior in high school and we're looking at colleges.  We're also running Net Price Calculators, which has been a sobering exercise.  Everything seemed so straightforward when I applied to school: I picked a college I liked, I applied early decision, it was in-state, and so I went there. That same college costs over four times as much now!  Finn isn't really sure what he wants, but it's looking like maybe a small liberal arts college with a strong French/study abroad program. (Anyone know of a fantastic French program??)  That doesn't really narrow things down, frankly!

*Speaking of Finn, he's the tallest person in our house now!  He's very tall, has long blonde hair, and was recently mistaken for an adult--probably because he almost is an adult.  He's also vegan, which is a tad inconvenient sometimes, and speaks beautiful French and Spanish, and is the Assistant Director for a play right now!  So Finn is busy. 

*I just came down with a mild cold, but otherwise I am healthy and well, and grateful for that.  Mr. Polly is also doing great.  We celebrated our 25th anniversary last October by taking Finn and Annie to a Very Fancy Restaurant in the city.  Annie was fascinated by the bananas foster situation. 

*I've been thinking recently about the disjointed feelings of life with 2 teenagers-the way we go in different directions. Life looks so different than it did 10 years ago, and for good reason! But there are elements that I miss; for instance, I didn't do anything in my flowerbeds this past summer.  And we don't read aloud anymore. Life feels very functional, and I am operating it with efficiency, but I really lack something--I can't put my finger on what.  Leisure? Soul-supporting activities? Lightheartedness?  Something like that!  I'm going to "study on it" this winter to see what I can do to help with that. Even so, I am thankful for this quiet, filled-up little life of mine.