Though the Fig Tree

After a tense weekend of waiting, we got the call at 8:30 this morning: the PET scan showed cancer. The doctor wanted us in his office for a biopsy at 3:00 (the biopsy confirms cancer, to be sure the PET scan didn't give a false positive). We talked for a long time, and then he performed the biopsy.

We'll get those results back sometime this week, and we go back to the doctor in a week for further discussion and probably for a needle lymph node biopsy because the PET scan lit up not just in my husband's mouth but also on his neck.  And we can, in fact, feel a mass on his neck.

This is such a surreal time.  In the elevator today I told my husband "I never thought I'd come here again."  When we left the surgeon's office in February I figured I was done with him; we all anticipated that. His surgeon is surprised.  We're all just stunned.  After a six-hour surgery with clean margins, a perfectly healthy 42 year old man with no risk factors comes back into the office 3 months later with cancer on his tongue again *and* in the lymph nodes?!  

Earlier this month I was looking at June, July, and August as an idyllic era of drifting between the garden and the swimming pool. Suddenly it is looking like radiation and chemotherapy.  This cancer appears more aggressive and tenacious than anticipated.  But I have news for it: my husband is the most tenacious human I know! He ran a 4:30 mile in high school, he ran Division 1 track and cross-country in college, he's no stranger to tackling challenges, and he's smart and determined.  

So today I was thinking about how we respond to disappointments, and the phrase "though the fig tree" kept surfacing in my mind.

"Though the fig tree does not bud

and there are no grapes on the vines,

though the olive crop fails

and the fields produce no food,

though there are no sheep in the pen

and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the Lord,

I will be joyful in God my Savior.

The Sovereign Lord is my strength;

he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,

he enables me to tread on the heights."

--Habakkuk 3:17-19

I will be joyful in God my Savior. Yes. I will.