For the past few years I've been reluctant to make "resolutions" or even many goals. Life threw us such a curveball; I often feel I need to just hold all my plans loosely now, because you never know. And I still feel that way, but seem to be more open to thinking in a more concrete way about the future. (My husband hit the 2-year-in-remission mark last month!!)
I turned 43 on September 25th. I am so grateful to be in my early 40s, in good health, with two healthy children, with a husband who is healthy and alive, with a roof over my head and food in the refrigerator. I honestly feel gratitude for these things every single day.
How about the other stuff?
One of my biggest dreams, and by far the most important one to me right now, is to raise two well-adjusted, respectful, hard-working, kind human beings who love God and love others. There's a lot to that dream, and I have many goals that I'm working on along the way.
But I think it's time to articulate a few others as well--I feel comfortable enough to do that right now. I feel far out enough from the uncertainty of stage 4 cancer, although the truth is--nothing is certain in our lives. We have to spend our days as wisely as we can in light of that reality.
I like to think in terms of dreams (the big, almost-nebulous things that we'd like to do) and goals (the small steps we have to take to get to the dream).
So here are my dreams and goals for the upcoming year of life:
1) Dream: write a book (I estimate I'm about 3/4 of the way there)
Goal: write 20 minutes each day
I began working on this story a year or two ago, but it sort of turned itself into a book this year. I spent every Saturday morning working on it for a few hours at a time in January, February, and March; I stopped when the pandemic hit (because I was staying home!). But I did spend a long weekend in a cabin by myself at the end of March and wrote about 30,000 words that weekend. This past weekend I spent two days writing (but it wasn't as productive, because I was at home!). My goal was to finish the first draft of the book by December 31, 2020, and I may be able to take another writing weekend soon. I want to carve out the time each day to work steadily now. Twenty minutes isn't much, but it's doable and it is better than nothing!
2) Dream: drop one more dress size (I don't think I need or want to drop more than that)
Goal: walk 30-45 minutes a day, exercise 15-30 minutes a day, and follow the general eating routine that works best for me
Pretty straightforward!
3) Dream: read 44 books by my 44th birthday (this is a fun one, right? I seem to pretty consistently read about 25 books per year--I do keep track--but this year I want to increase that significantly)
Goal: read for 30-60 minutes every evening
My new favorite habit is getting completely ready for bed, tucking my children in, and then curling up in my own bed with my stack of books. I also like reading in the morning and afternoons, but those times are more "hit-or-miss" for me because I need to take care of my family during the day!
4) Dream: learn to play violin (I began playing in fall of 2017, then took a long break when my husband was sick; I'm ready to pick up regular practice again, even if I'm not ready to re-start lessons yet)
Goal: practice 15 minutes a day
That's all I have time to do, but I can do that!
5) Dream: post more regularly on my blog
Goal: write three posts per week
I genuinely enjoy writing here, and I miss it when I don't do it.
6) Dream: learn to oil paint
Goal: paint for 1-2 hours every week
I recently decided I wanted to learn to oil paint; this could be a huge disaster, since I don't consider myself an artist. At all. But: why not? I think I'll try to paint on Sunday afternoons. It's our most relaxed day, and my husband always naps, so that's the perfect time for me to putter around in some paints, I think!
* * *
These are all personal goals. They are not relationship-oriented, but that's because I don't quantify what I do in my relationships. In fact, my relationships come before any of the things I listed here. Always. I don't care if I write a dozen books, play virtuoso-level violin (ha! what a dream!), oil paint like Vermeer, or read 100 books a year--if I do all of that and I neglect my home and my family, or don't show kindness to my neighbors in need or my friends, then I haven't done my real job, because I consider those things my real work in life.
Life is a gift! I'm grateful to have the margin and vision to try to spend it well. I know I'll come up short and never achieve every dream or goal, but I'd rather aim for the stars and reach the moon than never look up at all.
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