Don't ever let anyone make you feel badly about living within your means.
As I was painting window trim last fall--oh! so many hours of trimwork--this thought bubbled up into my mind.
I'm not sure where the thought came from; I spend a lot of time deep in thought when I'm doing a task like painting. As I've spent time picking colors, I've looked at a lot of home decorating websites and blogs to see what I like, what other people use, etc. And let me tell you: there's so much beautiful stuff out there.
Some blogs are just so polished! The photographs are polished! And the homes themselves are magazine-worthy. The funniest thing about these homes, I think, is that there's usually the "sign of life" element thrown into the otherwise-perfect photo. (Does this crack anyone else up?)
But then there may be sponsored ads and links to products that the homeowner uses and some sort of, let's face it, sales pitch to make you, the reader, feel that if you just purchased that tablecloth or that cutting board or that mug, suddenly your rather average, ordinary home life would be transformed into something polished and perfect as well.
And often the owner of the lovely polished photos is somehow making money off of making you feel that your rather ordinary life just isn't quite *enough.* Sometimes the person is simply encouraging or inspiring, but sometimes they're just--well--selling their encouragement or inspiration.
There's nothing wrong with inspiring websites and photos. (Does anyone want to see a messy room with dishes everywhere and clutter and unfolded laundry? I don't!) But I do feel like there's something amiss when the "inspiration" makes the reader feel somehow lacking, and like purchasing something will fill that lack. When I see sites like that, I begin to smell a rat, so to speak.
{I also think that some people do truly need to make the extra money they can get from online work, and it can be helpful to their families, so I'm not making a blanket statement against monetized sites and "influencers." But I do think that any website that constantly encourages people to spend money under the guise of "inspiration" feels a little disingenuous and that we must proceed with caution when we choose to consume them.}
The Bible says that "godliness with contentment is great gain." This passage in 1 Timothy is perfectly applicable and instructive.
I have already made my case in defense of the ordinary life. I do not get onboard at all with "FOMO", "YOLO," or "bucket lists." These things all imply that the lives we are given are somehow not enough. Generally spending money is seen as the cure to this ill, but it's not.
Money definitely matters and is vital to provide a certain level of comfort and stability, but beyond that, it's pretty much just a matter of degrees of luxuries.
The curious thing about money also seems to be that the people who appear to have the most, often have the highest incomes and greatest debt. Which makes their net worth lower, if we want to get technical. (This book has lots of good information, if you're interested in it. But check it out of the library!) And consumer debt is an albatross and can cause huge conflicts in marriages. As in 1 Timothy, it can cause people to be "pierced with many griefs."
Maybe that's one of my motivations for writing here. I do occasionally ask myself why do I even have a blog? Back in the old days I used my old blog as a way to keep family and friends updated on the adventures of Finn and Annie, but that has shifted significantly. Yet I still do want to keep a blog. And I think this is why: to just encourage other people, with no strings attached.
So if you are struggling with envy, or feeling inferior, or not being Enough, based on what you see online, turn off the computer/phone, open the Bible if you are a Christian, put a pen to paper to work through your thoughts, and really analyze what is encouraging you and what is just making you feel badly about your own circumstances.
I suspect that a lot of what we are "fed" via social media (it's called a feed!!) consists of people living outside their means.
And if you're a person who is trying to live within yours, then don't ever let anyone make you feel badly about that. You're doing the right thing. And your life may look messier and a lot less decorated and significantly less exciting or luxurious than the polished pages online would have you believe it should look. And you may have to say "no, I cannot afford to buy that" or "no, that's outside my budget." That is perfectly fine; there is no shame in living within your budget!
So if you're being fed things that make you feel inferior, remember that we only digest what we allow ourselves to consume in the first place. Seek out the things that will make you feel more contented with your own life and more inspired to make your own life happy and lovely, and make you feel less like you're missing out on some nebulous, glossy, "ideal life."
(Maybe next time I'll talk about "little luxuries," which are a nice antidote, in my mind, to this feeling of not being (or having, or doing) "enough!" Little luxuries can help cultivate a feeling of contentment!)
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