A New Year & New Prayers

 Two months make a difference. 

It's hard to know where to begin when I'm such a sporadic blogger! From Thanksgiving on, I was a pretty busy girl. Annie was in The Nutcracker, and I was working in the dressing room, and I don't even want to begin to describe that job.  Hectic doesn't even begin to touch it.  I was never in theatrical or ballet productions as a child, and I do not thrive on the backstage scene. In fact, I detest it!  All that hurrying and waiting and drama and rushing and quick changes and managing crises...it's completely antithetical to my normal way of living.  But it proves that I love my Annie because I want to be physically present for her backstage, at least while she's getting used to the routines of large ballet productions.  But whew.

My sweet and beloved uncle died of cancer on December 16th, a few days after The Nutcracker ended. My father had been helping to care for him during his last weeks. I was sadly unable to go to my uncle's funeral because my husband had a CT scan and doctor's appointment at UNC that I had to attend (and my uncle lived several states away--not near UNC!). My husband's scan was clear--three years in remission, praise the Lord!, but the day after my uncle's funeral, my stepmother notified me that my father was very ill.  He was hospitalized in Georgia with severe nausea and hyponatremia. He was released Christmas Eve, spent a couple days recovering, somehow managed to drive himself back to Charleston (by the grace of God alone, I'm sure), and was predictably readmitted to the hospital at MUSC on December 28th.  I had been beside myself when my Dad was in the hospital in Georgia, and once he was back to Charleston, I threw all our stuff together in suitcases and we left town a day before our anticipated travel date (we always spend New Year's in Charleston) so I could get there and be by his side.

While we were on the road I called my Dad to tell him we were on our way, and he gave me the devastating news that the doctors thought his symptoms were caused by cancer in his liver. 

Thus began our time in Charleston. He was released from the hospital on New Year's Eve.  Our four-night planned trip turned into ten nights.  We stayed and stayed.  I would have stayed longer, but my husband had to get back to work and Finn had to begin rehearsals for a play he's in this winter. We exchanged gifts, but I don't remember what I got.  The time passed in a slow haze of tears and anxiety, of nausea (he is very, very sick), of waiting and waiting for the liver biopsy to be scheduled, of trying to wrap our minds around the situation.  And then I caught a head cold. Which ended up not being a head cold, but The Virus I had somehow successfully managed to evade for the past 22 months.  We have absolutely no idea where I got it, because I'd had no contact with anyone outside our own little family circle.  

Praise the Lord that no one else in our family caught it.  And it was truly nothing worse than a very mild head cold for me.  But it was just so stressful.  My Dad was (is) incredibly sick, and to add to that, I suddenly had to worry that I'd passed an illness on to him that might end up delaying his biopsy even further.  

I'm recovered now--the worst part for me was that I was very tired for a few days at the very end.

We are home, cloaked in snow.

Annie turned 11 the day after we got home. 

Dad is still extremely sick.  His biopsy was on Thursday.  Although the official report is not back, we now know that he has metastatic liver cancer.  

And just like that, my whole life has shifted.  It's so strange how that happens. We are waiting now on the full pathology report, on the oncology appointments, on more news of how extensive this is and what the doctors recommend.  We spent about 3-4 weeks in Charleston in 2021.  I suspect we will spend much, much more time there this year.  My mind tries to plan ahead (school?  how can we continue ballet?  what about piano?) but in reality, I simply must continue to wait and see what the treatment plan will be.  

In the meantime, I'm praying that my father's nausea will subside so he can get adequate nutrition (losing 20+ pounds in a month is not healthy).  He's on four different anti-nausea medications right now and nothing touches the intractable nausea.  It never leaves him.  Will you please pray for him? Please pray that the nausea can somehow fade or be controlled, and please pray that God will lead us to the right plans, and please pray that we see His mercies and graces throughout the coming days. 

There have already been so many, but that's for another post on another day.

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"Fear not, for I am with you,

be not dismayed, for I am your God;

I will strengthen you, I will help you,

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

-Isaiah 41:10