My Daily Dozen: The Habit of Tidying

This year I began a blog series on my "daily dozen"--twelve habits that I use as the scaffolding of my life right now.   The first four (rest, eating well, exercise, fresh air) are habits of fostering good physical health.  The second group of four habits (Bible reading and prayer, spending time with my children, fostering my marriage, and prioritizing ideas) are related to relationships.

The last four "daily dozen" habits that I use as the scaffolding of my life during this season have to do with discipline. Last Monday I wrote about the habit of doing daily chores. That's not an exciting habit, but I do consider it an essential discipline!  Today I'm going to write about something closely related: the habit of tidying. 

What is tidying? 

Tidying, according to my definition, is the act of bringing order.  So when I talk about tidying, I'm not just talking about picking up around the house, although it is clearly important to bring order to the house on a regular basis.  I'm also talking about tidying outdoor spaces (like the yard, garden, patio, porch).  And on a deeper level I mean tidying the schedule. 

On most days I can't tidy all of these things (the house and yard that are perfectly clean in every room every day is an unreachable goal in my season of life for sure), but every day I can do a bit of a tidy somewhere. I think if I can "tidy something" each day as a basic discipline of my life, I can generally maintain a sense of order in my home and in my mind. 

Tidying the House

Some of us love this task more than others.  My husband once came home when I had our closet all torn up and clothes across the bed and I was going through everything (mind you, I keep a small wardrobe to begin with) and he smiled and said, "you're really happy right now, aren't you?"

It's true. I love to tidy up.  I even tend to tidy therapeutically; the day my mother died unexpectedly in my arms, I went back to her house from the hospital and just began to tidy up.  I knew it seemed strange in the face of what had happened, but it was a stress-reliever. I did it because the house needed it, and I needed it, too. There are few things that thrill me more than taking a messy closet or drawer and imposing order upon the chaos.  

I know there are people who think people like me are crazy!

In spite of this love of tidying, I do not have a perfectly tidy home.  I live with three other people who do not share my deep joy of tidying up.  (Although my daughter shows potential.....) Imposing my standard of order on everyone else in this household would result in misery, so we just keep things reasonably neat.  And sometimes things are a complete mess!  (Our garage comes to mind.) This weekend I went through our schoolroom and organized it...and let me tell you, it was chaos down there for a few days! But not anymore.

My advice for beginners to tidying is to pick *one* spot in your house that you want to keep clutter-free and tidy, and simply focus on that each day.  That builds the habit, and once you have the habit, you've got momentum, and keeping certain spaces tidy won't feel so onerous anymore. 

Also note: "tidy" is a relative word. What is tidy to you? That's what you're going for. If you're the type of person who doesn't mind a stack of books on the coffee table and a little pile of papers on the buffet and a puzzle in progress on the end table, then fine!  Remember that it's about bringing order. Your home can be in order even if it doesn't look ready for a magazine shoot.

I personally love a Very Tidy space but also don't mind the Tangram game left out on the table for a few days or a few stuffed animals neatly gracing the sofa.  I'll straighten the pillows at night and maybe arrange the stuffed animals neatly, and that doesn't bother me a bit!

Tidying Outside

Sometimes I am so fixated on the inside of my house that I forget the outside. In winter this is no big deal, but in summer things get grimy and out of control very quickly.

Now, I'll be honest: when I had children who were babies, toddlers, and preschoolers, I pretty much made peace with the season of my life and I didn't fret much over the exterior of our house.  A couple of summers ago I instituted the rule that I would weed and mulch every year. Around that time I also drew a to-scale grid plan of my flower beds and realized how many "holes" there were between plants, so I've worked pretty hard over the past few years at filling those holes with plants, thus choking out the weeds! As a result, my flower gardening is the best it has ever been.

Once or twice a week it's nice to go pull weeds and tidy up, and in doing so I save myself the trouble of dealing with overwhelming amounts of weeds. (Trust me, I have been there in the past. Many times.)

Don't talk to me about the vegetable garden. I'd happily turn it back into lawn, but my husband likes to have a vegetable garden. It's just that we can't keep it up, especially not with cancer nipping at our heels. We'll just draw the veil of charity over it!

It is a good idea to establish a basic routine for tidying other outdoor spaces like porches, decks, and patios.  We have some messiness near our patio right now as we're doing some landscaping and have a few "piles" nearby, but I do try to at least keep the piles somewhat tidy.  It's a classic case of doing the best I can do, knowing it's imperfect, and accepting that anyhow.  Choosing one day a week to sweep the patio, tidy up the porch, knock down spider webs, etc. does help things stay reasonably nice during the busy summer months. Remember--it's about bringing basic order, not imposing perfection.

Tidying the Schedule  

This is my favorite. Tidying the house and yard help give us physical peace so we can relax and enjoy other pursuits, but in my opinion nothing brings more peace than tidying the schedule. This includes taking a look at the week or month ahead and deciding what to embrace, what to decline, how to order our days, what types of meals might be nice, what things need our focus, and what other things can be ignored.

Sometimes my schedule is inevitably packed.  During those times, tidying the schedule means looking at it with an eye to efficiency and figuring out what to do to make life easier.  Grouping errands and appointments helps tremendously, as does having simple meals or freezer meals. But I don't want to live with a packed schedule for too long if I can help it!

Often taking the bird's eye view of the schedule will allow me to see what I can cull.  It helps me hone in on what's most important to us in our lives right now. It helps me save time by narrowing my focus. Back when my children were younger and I felt perpetually overwhelmed, I decided to make a short (3-5 items) list every quarter of the things I wanted to focus upon for those months.  It was *so* helpful for me to keep that visibly posted in my kitchen as a reminder not to take on too much, and to do one thing at a time, and keep my focus on what I deemed important during that season of my life.

I think that tidying the schedule is an essential aspect of living an intentional life. It's easy to be swept along on the waves of our days, yet we need to determine where we want to go and navigate in that direction.  Tidying the schedule is the tool that gets us there. 

When To Tidy

I suggest tidying main living areas up each day. You don't have to get it to perfection--just try to eliminate the messes.  (And recruit the children!) I try to Do Something, no matter how small (kind of like exercise!) and just stick to the commitment.  You could pick Saturday as the day to pull weeds and tidy outdoor spaces--and don't worry about it if it's pouring rain.  I love to tidy my schedule on Sundays after church. The new week is ahead, my husband takes a nap, I make a cup of tea, and I look ahead at the week to think through meals, obligations, appointments, exercise plans, school plans, et cetera.  It takes less than an hour and I simply enjoy sitting with the planner and my thoughts!  I feel more prepared when I begin my week that way. When my children were smaller and needier, I often spent an hour or two on the weekends at a local coffee shop doing my schedule-tidying and menu planning, and then I went grocery shopping. We will all do this differently! 

For me, tidying regularly brings more peace and serenity into our home (and into my heart and head), so I do consider it an essential habit in my life.

Next week I plan to write about another habit that involves discipline...but something a little more fun than chores and tidying!